Tag Archives: Praise

Presidential Hubris: How Narcissism Influences Leadership

Imagine a world were the President of the United States uses the office to do whatever he wants. Whether he’s sacrificing the truth, ignoring basic ethics, indulging in harmful measures of entitlement, or abusing underlings and colleagues, we are all treated as pawns on his ascent into power. Of course, I’m referring to Frank Underwood on Netflix’s House of Cards (why, who did you think I was talking about?).

In Frank Underwood’s time on television, he has been diagnosed with numerous psychological disorders. One that seems fitting for today’s political climate are his narcissistic tendencies.

Narcissism involves excessive self-aggrandizement, a grandiose view of one’s talents and achievements, and a preoccupation with fantasies of power. These predilections result in extreme selfishness and a shallowness of emotion where the individual maintains a strong distain towards criticism, is unwilling to compromise, and is over-reliant on the need for praise (as a note, we’re still discussing President Underwood).

The road to power is paved with hypocrisy, and casualties – never regret.—Frank Underwood

The indicators of narcissism are often confused with those of self-esteem. Jean Twenge, a professor of Psychology at San Diego State University, makes the distinction that while people high in self-esteem value individual achievement, they also value their relationships. Narcissists, on the other hand, are “missing that piece about valuing, caring and their relationships, so they tend to lack empathy, they have poor relationship skills.” They are likewise linked to materialism and a greater focus on money, fame, and image.

If narcissism sounds like a leadership style you would enjoy, the research is clear that it is ineffective. One study I read on Knowtro found that narcissism decreases task performance by almost 10%. According to the authors, these behaviors have a significantly negative impact on core job responsibilities, team performance, and promotions. Another study concluded that narcissism increases workplace deviance by up to 24%.

But, you may be thinking, aren’t most CEOs associated with being narcissistic? The short answer is, “No.” Sure, there have been articles written about particular individuals, but research does not support the argument that the majority of CEOs are any more self-centered then the rest of us. In fact, the Center for Executive Succession found that only 5% of leaders can be classified as narcissists. At the same time, 60% were described as being high in humility. For you math folks, this means CEOs were 12 times more likely to be humble than narcissistic.

The American people don’t know what’s best for them…I do.—Frank Underwood

Now that we’ve determined how narcissism is 1) not desirable and 2) not a component of success, it’s time for the difficult question: Are you a narcissist? As a hint, if you are offended by my merely asking the question, you are in danger. Those leaning towards narcissism are reluctant to admit they may have such a flaw, as doing so would conflict with their self-image of perfection.

To gain a more unbiased perspective of ourselves, psychiatrist and author Mark Goulston has a quick self-assessment. Called the Narcissist Inventory, answer the ten questions below using a 1-3 scale (1 = rarely; 2 = sometimes; 3 = frequently):

  1. How often does the person need to be right at all costs?
  2. How often does the person act impatient with you for no good reason?
  3. How often does the person interrupt you in the middle of what you’re saying, and yet take offense if you interrupt?
  4. How often does the person expect you to drop whatever you’re thinking about and listen to him or her — and does the person take offense when you expect the same in return?
  5. How often does the person talk more than he or she listens?
  6. How often does the person say “Yes, but,” “That’s not true,” “No,” “However,” or “Your problem is”?
  7. How often does the person resist and resent doing something that matters to you, just because it’s inconvenient?
  8. How often does the person expect you to cheerfully do something that’s inconvenient for you?
  9. How often does the person expect you to accept behavior that he or she would refuse to accept from you?
  10. How often does the person fail to say “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “Congratulations,” or “Excuse me” when it’s called for?

To score your inventory, add up the total:

10-16 = The person is cooperative

17-23 = The person is argumentative

24-30 = The person is a narcissist

The President (Underwood, obviously) is unable to feel sympathy, remorse, or a genuine connection to others. His thirst for power is too overwhelming to allow such interference. And I doubt he’s interested in or able to change. We don’t have to be stuck is such a caustic trap as the President (still Underwood). There may be instances where we demonstrate a few narcissist traits, but this does not make us narcissist. What matters more is that we remain vigilantly aware of these tendencies so we can identify them before they influence our decision making and wreak havoc on our reputation. It’s the difference between suffering the inevitably bleak fate of Frank Underwood and being a real life leader.

The Don Rickles School of Praise: When There’s Too Much of a Good Thing

Last week I wrote about the business case for being nice. I stand by the article and the cited research flaunting the benefits of leadership based in trust, warmth, and mutual cooperation; however, with the passing of legendary comedian Don Rickles, I’d like to honor his memory by providing a counter argument—the business case for not being so nice. More specifically, why we should be more discerning when doling out praise.

In today’s culture, leaders are encouraged to instill confidence, build self-esteem, and offer regular praise so as to encourage employees to believe in themselves. This “feel good” behavior creates a nice environment, but “nice” is not synonymous with “engaging,” “productive,” or “dynamic.” In fact, research shows that praise may actually undermine success.

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don’t know why. Maybe they’re afraid of what I might say. There’s probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don’t know what it is.—Don Rickles

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when people are praised for ‘doing their own thing,’ they lose interest in the activity once the praise stops. Where they may have once felt satisfaction with the intrinsically rewarding enjoyment of performing the activity, the praise replaced the intrinsic reward with a contingent, external incentive, thus reducing the appeal of the intrinsic reward. As a result, expecting praise can soon make that thing seem not worth doing if you are not receiving the praise.

In another study published in Educational Leadership, people praised for personal attributes (being smart, talented, etc) were more easily discouraged with complex tasks and they stopped making an effort much sooner than those praised for ‘working hard’. Also, when praised for effort, participants overwhelmingly chose the more challenging task, while those praised for intelligence chose the easy test.

And according to Dr. Peggy Drexler, a research psychologist and professor of psychology at Cornell University, unpraised individuals show higher levels of confidence, while the overpraised are more likely to lie or exaggerate to make their performance sound better. Praise becomes addictive; once they get it, they need it and cannot function without it.

They always use the word ‘insult’ with me, but I don’t hurt anybody. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.—Don Rickles

Before you are completely turned off from delivering praise (and decide to follow the Don Rickles’ style of ‘compliments’), the lesson here is not to withhold support or encouragement; what’s key is making sure the praise you deliver is accomplishing your intended purpose and being conveyed in the most impactful manner. A few ways you can maximize your praise include:

  • Be selective with praise. A compliment is more meaningful when it is kept sacred. If you do it all the time, it has less potency and creates an atmosphere of dependency. As David “Father of Advertising” Ogilvy says, it should be just uncommon enough to make each instance a momentous occasion.
  • Focus on what is within a person’s control. Don’t bother heaping compliments on characteristics that come natural; emphasis what they can consciously influence and control.
  • Avoid applause for easy tasks. A study found that people praised for an achievement that comes easily believe either 1) the praiser is not smart enough to realize how easy the task is or 2) the praiser thinks the prasiee is not smart.
  • Don’t over-praise for doing something they should be doing anyway. Recognize them for going above and beyond or finding a new way to complete a task, otherwise you are just reinforcing the minimum expectations of the job.
  • Deliver razor-sharp praise. Ambiguous, broad statements like, “You are great,” are worthless. Compliments should be specific and describe a detailed account of what they did well.

Don Rickles, derisively nicknamed Mr. Warmth, was always quick with an insult. He could disarm the most caustic audience with the most politically correctless jab. The greatest praise he offered was a verbal barb… and people begged Rickles to make fun of them. Of course, context matters so we should not try to emulate his form of tribute. Instead, use praise to build people up, but, at the same time, don’t rely on it as your primary form of communication. Keep it pointed, make it meaningful, and (I cannot stress this enough) don’t think “What would Rickles say.”

Luke Cage on Quantifiable Coolness and How It Can Benefit Leaders

luke-cageHave you ever considered whether others see you as cool? This may sound like a question more geared to your high school years, but being perceived as cool may be something to consider as a leader, as well. That’s why I strive to be like Luke Cage.

Luke Cage is the next superhero to get a Netflix miniseries. Set in the same world as Daredevil and Jessica Jones, Cage underwent body-wide enhancement that gave him superhuman strength and durability. While neat, this is not the basis for Cage’s coolness. First introduced in the 1972 comic Hero for Hire #1, Luke Cage is based upon the popular Blaxploitation films of the time. He’s like a bullet-proof Superfly or a super strong Shaft…and who is cooler than Superfly and Shaft? Cage has since protected the people of Harlem with self-assurance, style, and swagger.

It may sound ambiguous choosing Cage as a personification of cool, but until recently, this term has possessed an elusive, know-it-when-we-see-it quality. Recent advances in neuroscience have determined that cool is more quantifiable than previously believed. Steven Quartz and Anette Asp from the California Institute of Technology ran brain scans on people who viewed items that were deemed “cool” or “uncool.” The cooler the participant found the item to be, the more active the brain scan became. As a result, the researchers reason that the participants were responding to how they thought the product would boost their esteem in the eyes of others.

Cool turns out to be a strange kind of economic value that our brains see in products that enhance our social image. This abstract good—social approval, reputation, esteem, or status—plays a central role in our motivation and behavior, and it is the currency that drives much of our economy and our consumption.—Steven Quartz and Anette Asp, Cool: How the Brain’s Hidden Quest for Cool Drives Our Economy and Shapes Our World

Additional research has narrowed-down the concept of cool to such socially desirable attributes as talent, influence, status, and being socially connected (Don’t these attributes also describe leaders?). These targets may be in constant flux, but the underlying idea remains that people want to feel accepted.

Speaking for myself, becoming cool is a ship that sailed long ago. The more I’ve tried to attain it, the less cool I feel. Thankfully, as leaders, we don’t have to be cool to help shape a cool culture. A few tips include:

  • Present yourself in a positive way. This includes owning your good and bad qualities.
  • Be mindful of how your actions influence others. Negativity compels others to suppress their true intents.
  • You know who people view as cool? The person they meet on their first day of work who makes them feel welcome. Be the leader who sets this tone.
  • Exhibit confidence through your actions, appearance, and body language.
  • While it may not have been cool for your high school teacher to praise your work, it is exceedingly cool for you, the supervisor, to heap acclaim.
  • Finally, and most importantly, there are few things less cool then pretending to be something you aren’t. Find your own style.

While we can’t all be as cool as Luke Cage, we can maximize the coolness of our workplace. Define the attributes that make someone cool in your company. Then act like it and encourage those who do the same. If you can manage it, “Sweet Christmas,” as Cage is known to say.

Motivating though a Variable Schedule (or Why I Watch Bad TV)

seinfeld linkedinIn what appears to be my continuing series on why I can’t stop watching bad TV, I may have finally nailed my compulsion. At first, I diagnosed it as my inability to say no. Then, realizing that a lack of willpower may not be the complete answer, I attributed my television habits to sunk cost where I continued to spend time so as to justify the time already spent. Now, I’m going old school with some classic behavioral psychology.

In the 1930s, legendary Psychologist B.F. Skinner introduced the concept of operant conditioning where a person’s behavior changes according to consequences associated with that behavior. For those of you who don’t recall your Psych 101 course, reinforcements are presented to motivate people to repeat particular behaviors. It’s like watching Seinfeld—every episode has a worthwhile movement (reinforcement) that compels you want to watch more (repeated behavior).

skinnerBut what about the television shows that don’t have such a frequent payoff? Skinner would attribute this to its variable schedule, where the response is rewarded after an unpredictable amount of time. Case in point, I recently had the unfortunate experience of binge watching an entire season of a show that did not deserve so much of my attention. The first episode was enthralling, the rest were not. Looking back, I was on a variable ratio 120 (VR-120) schedule. This means I received reinforcement an average of every 120 minutes. That’s right, the show kept me interested an average of once every other episode—sometimes it reinforced after 45 minutes, sometimes I had to wait 180 minutes. The key is that the timing was unpredictable.

Which Came First, the Chicken or the Email?

If this sounds ridiculous, you may be interested to know that offering reinforcements on a variable schedule of rewards is the most effective way to motivate others. Just consider your email habits. Typically, you don’t know when you are going to receive a message so you check your email randomly throughout the day. Every time you check your inbox, a new message acts as a reinforcer for continuing to check your email. This never-ending cycle of checking and sporadically receiving emails feeds your compulsive inbox scrutiny.

Our brains are wired to search for the next reward. A recent neurological study found that our dopamine system works not to provide us with rewards for our efforts, but to keep us searching by inducing a semi-stressful response. We are addicted to the anticipation that comes with the next reinforcer, but we are not satisfied with attaining said reinforcer. As a result, we remain susceptible to a variable schedule of reinforcements to propel us towards the next reward.

How You Can Use It

Variable schedules are more than just an explanation for why I watched the first two seasons of Blacklist (and, who are we kidding, will watch the third). It is a powerful leadership tool that will ensure your incentives have the maximum intended impact to encourage others to repeat desired behaviors. Want to try to it?

  • Mix up your schedule. When you conduct your regularly scheduled office laps, do them at different times throughout the day. Chances are good that your team will work at a fairly steady pace throughout the day since they won’t know when you are popping in.
  • Give sporadic praise. Instead of offering praise on a predictable schedule, use a three-variable ratio schedule (VR-3). When they exhibit a behavior that you’d like to encourage, first provide reinforcement after the first time, then four, then two, then five. The instances between reinforcement varies, but there remains an average of three.
  • Keep meeting agendas interesting. When people attend meetings, there’s typically one item they find especially engaging. At the onset of the meeting, provide a bullet-list of agenda items in no particular order. Then, discuss the items in an unanticipated sequence.

In a rare instance of advice, try to be more like a bad television show. Use a variable schedule of rewards to provide an engaging, inspiring experience. Maintain consistency through clear direction with a clear vision and clear expectations but employ a less predictable method of motivating others. It will more effectively get you the results you want and may help you pick better television shows for your Netflix queue.